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Wednesday, 12 October 2016

I Had A Son When I Was Young, Till Now He Doesn't Know I'm His Mother

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Hi please I need your help with an enormous issue I am currently facing. I got pregnant at 18, it wasn’t a mistake it was a planned pregnancy between me and my then much older boyfriend who I loved so much, I decided to get pregnant so I could go live with him, he was my first love, he was my everything.
When my parents found out I was pregnant, they naturally sent me packing, our plan had worked we could finally be together, this was 2008, I had finished my secondary education 2 years back and felt I could continue schooling from my boyfriend’s place, he was financially okay so that wasn’t a problem.
Bella, he died and left me in this world, all alone, I didn’t know he had epilepsy, we were eating one night and it started, he was convulsing, as I type now I can still see the whole scenario in my head, I didn’t know what to do, I ran out for help, called neighbors, they stood and watched till he choked on his food and just died like that, I was six months pregnant.
 
Photo Credit: Pinterest
My parents took me back, I didn’t know his parents or any of his siblings so there was no one to contact about my situation so I went back home and begged my parents.
Its eight years now, my boy doesn’t know I’m his mother, he calls me auntie, my parents said that was the only way I could keep him and they could sponsor both of us, he bears my family surname. I haven’t been able to love another person, I get scared when someone shows me love, I have this feeling they will die and leave me, Bella I am through with school now, waiting for service, and I know God will grant me a good job, how do I pay my parents back? How do I tell my son I am his mother? How do I make my heart forget Obinna {My son’s father} how do I make my heart love again, I feel so sad, I
need words to pierce my soul and your blog seemed like the right place to send an email to, please help me.
 
 
Talk2Bella
 
Wow... I’m so touched by your story and I do believe a lot of young girls out there will learn from this. I understand it's been pretty much difficult living through all the hurdles, I’m also happy that you weren't so quick to choose abortion as an option when you got pregnant, I’m very sure the Lord has forgiven you since you have made peace with your parents.  It's also good to know that at this stage of your life, you’ve graduated from school and are very much capable to start life afresh.
Now, judging from your predicament, the first thing you should do right now is to take responsibilities for your actions since you are old enough and have graduated from school. Please forget about love or whatever stupid shades of it for now and focus on your career, there are many ladies out there who made same mistakes in their past but they owned up to their faults and now they are popular figures in the society.
Try as much as possible to get a skill or start a business,  something that's going to engage you while waiting for service, you can't continue living with your parents at this stage under the same roof also with your son because the guilt will always be there and will haunt you until you take responsibilities and get out of your comfort zone.
And as for your son, the truth is that your parents have legally adopted him as their son since he formally answers your father's name so their is absolutely nothing you can do about that (legally speaking). So even if you try to let him know that he is your son, you still need your parents' consent on that, which is where the hard work and being independent comes into play.
All I suggest you do now is to stop the worry, go out from your comfort zone, use the money from your days as an undergraduate and start a small scale business before you go for service no matter how little, with time I believe you will be able to stand on your feet.
And to all ladies out there who have read the sender's story, please zip it up! Yes, close your legs for goodness sake! The reason why such things happen to naive ones like you is because you fail to read your bible concerning issues like this. There is nothing as pleasant as keeping yourselves ‎scandal free during your youth. Your parents send you to school to read and pass your exams but you send yourselves to open your legs for all and sundry and when a baby is involved, you begin to seek for international help. The gospel of abstinence is being preached in the streets, please curtail your excesses!
 
Thank you.
Reply From CuteHector
Talk2Bella Team

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